why the mask?
by ildokka2
Summary: Iruka didnt get the answer he expected


Disclaimer: this just translation of my first (and only) fanfic ever, I have some new ideas but doing a translation seems like a good start .

English is not my mother language and I haven't got a beta reading so I apologize for the bad grammar and misspelling in advance just hope the story get across.

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Just a Sunday afternoon like any other, Iruka asked:

"So.. why the mask?" It was a casual question,like talking about the weather but for someone like Kakashi details could be live or death so he noticed the shaking hand while the mug was left on the table.

Kakashi smiled under the mask, he has been waiting for the question for a long time.

"I see... 4 months, 3 days and 4hours, ne? " he answered leaning his head to the side and hiding a playful smile under the clothes.

"uh? pardon?"

"that's the time I've been waiting the question..." .The smile was gone and the unreadable ex-anbu expression was back in place.

"So then ….?" this time the doubts were clear in the chunnin voice, it was almost like a whisper.

Truth be told Kakashi was genius, yes, but also a shinobi trained since childhood to not feel anything, or at least to make sure feelings were all the time under control. Let's be honest, he knew how hard was to show his real emotions . He was expecting the question but his soul and mind were struggling to find a "proper" answer .

"The thing is…." Kakashi started trying to buy some time..

But Iruka stopped him

"Shhhhh enough.."

Kakshi was surprised and he raise a quizzical eyebrow while Iruka started to get up from the table and took the plates. There were not doubts or shaking in the movements and he turned and looked at kakashi in the eyes, then he smiled like when some of his class hellions made a prank . Iruka had that sweet, affectionate but essentially a understanding smile.

Petrified in his chair Kakashi did not understand what just happened, he could see Iruka back as he started to wash the dishes and started to sing a nursery song. The man that have changed his life forever and was box of surprises .

"Let's make a deal " Iruka stopped and turned around.

The sudden move, bring the ex-Anbu back from the clouds. He found a smile has come to his face while watching him, and he could not have help it. No shinobi training prepares you for an Iruka in your live, he thought.

"Go on" Kakashi replied taking again control over his expressions

"This would be the one , and only, time I ask you. Never ever under any circumstance you will hear me ask again about your mask. I will accept your reply whatever it is, do you understand?"

"ermm… so you don't mind if I lie"

"No!" .The sound was a little louder that what Iruka wanted, and his cheeks started to get red.

"What I mean is that you only need to give me and answer and it doesn't have to be now, you can choose when. I'll wait. It is a fair deal, isn't it?" . Then for a second Iruka stopped and looking down and in much more sad tone he added:

"Anyway it's your reply, you can say whatever you want... the deal won't change." He finished, rubbing his scar nervously.

Kakashi thoughts went crazy, so Iruka was willing to wait for his answer, how long? forever? He will even accept one of his excuses as reply? Now we was really surprised, in fact he felt overwhelmed with pride , happiness , Iruka was thinking in a future together! and he will wait until he was ready. But he also felt small , insecure ,guilty … how many times ,since they started dating a few months ago, have he though he did not deserved the chunnin?

But then he remembers his smile when they talk or when he give him those chaotic reports , when they are having dinner , disscusing about life, the village, Naruto …. .That happiness that Iruka irradiates that could shake a village, his efforts to train in his spare time , to prepare the classes for the children , the caring ,sweet, loveable teacher …..he wanted the most to protect, spoil and love him and never see again those tears he saw him dropping alone in front of the tomb of his parents.

"Kashi? Kakashi?" Kakashi lifted his head, he was again lost in his thoughts.

And there he was Iruka looking at him worried, anxious and a little embarrassed , thinking that maybe he had been too bold and crossed a line he shouldn't have.

They spent all the time they could together, go on dates ant they have even kissed, in the dark but still have done it . Kakashi seemed relaxed with him and Iruka though he has started to notice the subtle changes on the expressions . He thought he was starting to see what was underneath the image of village hero but most important the jounin small gestures of affection confirmed that this was for real and not just a pastime for Kakashi.

But now that he had asked the question he could not help but feel vulnerable ,naked .Kakashi could just leave him there because he has gone too far so a sudden fear invaded Iruka as silent was again the only thing in the kitchen .

He turned around facing the sink and tried his best to downplay the situation, he stuttered

"We… ell, it is not.. so …. important, you know …"

"Shh, enough" whispered Kakashi on Iruka's ear. He had stood up and back hugged Iruka blocking his arms

"You might need to wait a long time, but let's make another deal…" he continued whispering.

Iruka face was red. Usually Kakshi never started the caresses. He never rejected the moves the chunnin did to get close to him, but this was totally new, he could hear his pounding heart, Iruka closed his eyes and breathed trying to relax and then …there it was ….the heart hugging him was as fast as his and then nothing else mattered.

"I don't mind waiting" affirmed Iruka

"Perfect , because you should not be asking why the mask " sad memories , bitter sensations came briefly to Kakashi mind while he questioned himself do I even have an answer? The chalk smell, the body temperature and Iruka heart rhythm returned the jounin back from that deep black place, how many times has it been already?

"The important question that you should ask is why you are the only person that have seen me without it"

"But Kashi I've never.. " Tried to said Iruka while he turned around in the arms that surrounded him.

And the words died in the skin of a chin that could be now caressed and the most beautiful and real smile Kakashi had in years, lighting up Iruka kitchen (and heart) in a Sunday afternoon just like any other.


End file.
